___
Benjy: I used to have a hard time believing that I was actually alive. I could never believe or fully comprehend that I was actually going through the motions of living. I used to have very existential moments where I’m hyper-aware of what I’m doing: what I look like, where I am. I could see myself moving in slow motion. And not even with major events in my life – I’m fucking putting on my socks or making lunch. And then I just step outside of myself. I think about my life. I think about human life. I think about this huge planet that’s microscopic in comparison to the rest of the universe. And I’m overwhelmed, so much so that my heart beats faster and I’m short of breath. I almost fainted once.
Paul: I know what you—
Benjy: Don’t fucking interrupt me asshole!
Paul: Jesus, Benjy, I was just—
Benjy: I said don’t fucking interrupt me!
Paul: Sorry.
Benjy: OK, then.
Paul: Damn.
Benjy: I was reading about Einstein’s theory of relativity. It’s basically about gravity. He says that gravity isn’t a force that attracts things together, but objects literally bend space and time. I read it on Wikipedia and I don’t really understand it, but that’s not my point.
Paul: You have a point?
Benjy: I’m tempted to tell you to go fuck yourself with a pineapple but I’m turning a new leaf here, Paul.
Paul: Sorry.
Benjy: I mean very tempted to say horrible things about your anus. I’m trying really hard to be a better person, Paul. So please, don’t fucking interrupt me, because my point is very important.
Paul: Sorry Benjy.
Benjy: My point is, now that I’m back on the wagon – 3 weeks sober – I’m looking at things differently. I feel that life is meaningless and god is dead, and if god is dead that means death is the answer. And since I can’t take anything to calm me the fuck down, I was thinking that I would masturbate myself to death. And I want you to watch.
Paul: Watch?
Benjy: And I want to be cremated.
No comments:
Post a Comment